Motherhood: A Spiritual Awakening
Motherhood: A spiritual awakening
I often hear mothers say once they have children, they lose themselves. For me, it was the opposite. When I birthed my baby, I found myself. I believe I achieved that because I had a solid understanding of myself already. I have attended countless trainings, retreats and read so many books on spirituality, self-healing, self-help, yoga, and meditation. You name it, I’ve tried it. I had worked on myself so profoundly that I eventually had to share these teachings with others. When I had my baby, I had already had my first spiritual awakening.
Let’s start at the beginning—the beginning of my first spiritual awakening. When I had my first awakening, I began to see the world in a different light.. I started to become aware of my own energy and the energy around me. I had a strong desire to move in the direction of that awareness and make positive and sometimes hard changes to better my life. There is no one way that a person can experience and awakening. Each person will awaken in their own time when they are ready. I hope my story helps you to find the path that leads to one of your awakenings.
I didn’t know anything about energy work, clairvoyance, healing, or spirituality growing up. But I did know that I felt everything. I knew that when we went to church, I felt the depth of every person in that room. I deeply felt every funeral, wedding, and christening that had taken place. My eyes would fill with tears, my heart would race, and my stomach would fill with butterflies that would later whisper to my soul. I knew that I had these feelings, which would bubble up when I was around other people. I could be with one person or surrounded by a crowd, but I was connected to each person I was this. If I went to a concert or a sporting event, it could sometimes be overwhelming, all that energy floating around for me to absorb. I didn’t yet have the tools to protect myself from everyone else’s energy. I didn’t understand these feelings. Why was I depressed? Why was I anxious? Unsure of what I was feeling, I buried these overwhelming emotions. I hid them deep below the surface, where I eventually drowned them in alcohol, antidepressants, and anti-anxiety medications. I would have to crawl out of that hole at some point. At that time, that was the only way I knew how to deal with what I was feeling and taking daily.
Later, I would discover that I was feeling everyone else’s emotions and taking them on as my own. Welcome to the life of an everyday empath. We are everywhere. If you are reading this, I am willing to bet you have already tapped into your psychic abilities or are on the verge of a spiritual awakening too. Trust me; you will find peace through all the noise and palpable energy. Start with awareness and keep moving forward.
My first introduction into the wellness world was when I became a massage therapist. I was in an unhealthy marriage and craving something that would fill the voids that were seemingly everywhere I turned. I absolutely loved it. There was something so soothing about touch, and I started to notice people’s energy differently, which also made me more aware of my own. This was the very beginning of my self-healing journey. It would still take me years to get to my initial “awakening.”
As I continued working as a massage therapist, my mind began to slow down and eventually started to open. I was then introduced to reiki. A new way of seeing the world! Reiki is an ancient healing practice based on the belief that we all have a life force energy moving through our bodies. Reiki helps to balance that energy. With my first reiki attunement or initiation, I had a revelation. I had a profound spiritual awakening. This attunement changed my life forever. Shortly after my first initiation into reiki, the finger where my wedding ring still lived broke out into a rash, and tears endlessly streamed down my face. If that wasn’t a sign to get out, I don’t know what else could have told me so boldly to move on. I eventually listened, got divorced, and met the love of my life, who is still beside me today. Believe it or not, he was and still is my support through all the steps of this and my next spiritual awakening. I practiced reiki, received my second-degree attunement, and after that, I became a reiki master/teacher, a yoga teacher, an aesthetician, and a mediation guide. I had done so much work on myself; now it was time to help others heal. I was indeed on a mission to show people that we can heal ourselves through awareness. I later named myself a holistic healing guide in hopes that that would encompass all I offer. Then one day after we sent my partner’s grown kids off into the world, surprise, we are pregnant!! What? I am 39 and have lots to do; I don’t have time for a baby? It is an understatement to say that I was wrong and on the verge of my second and most profound spiritual awakening.
It all makes sense when I look back at the series of events that led to my baby’s soul merging with my own. The universe laid out the path and set the foundation for my baby to enter the world safely. It’s quite amazing. The more we allow ourselves to flow with the universe’s plan, the more easily our time in this life goes. An endless stream of miracles awaits when we are open to receiving what we are meant to and ready to let go of what we are not meant to have or be. My little miracle had been waiting for me for a long time.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to have a baby or didn’t know that one day I would. I am a clairvoyant; after all, I knew even it, even if I didn’t want to admit it. Clairvoyance is the ability to gain information about an object, person, location, or physical event through extrasensory perception. I am not unique by any means; I genuinely believe we all encompass psychic “gifts”; we simply have to be made aware of them. Every psychic I’ve ever seen told me I would have a baby. They all said my baby was waiting for me. My baby waited until I was in the best physical, mental, and spiritual shape of my life before she arrived. When those three aligned, she made her way to me. I was the happiest I had ever been when she made her cozy home in my womb. My Lucy, my light, settled in just fine as I adjusted to the idea that I was going to have a baby! She is truly the most beautiful gift I have ever been given. Lucy is my greatest teacher. She began teaching me from the moment I knew of her existence. This is where my true spiritual awakening began.
I can’t be sure that what I am about to say happens to everyone, but I feel that it does on some level. It was true for me. My chakras were significantly affected by the life growing inside of me. Chakras are energy centers in our bodies. They each hold specific energy and are often referred to as wheels of light.
If you aren’t familiar with the chakras or energy centers in the body, here is a simple explanation of what energy each chakra represents:
The Root Chakra is located at the bases of the spine and represents energies of safety, security and feeling grounded.
The Sacral Chakra is located just below your belly button and holds the energies of sensuality, sexuality, creativity, and passion.
The Solar Plexus Chakra is located just above the belly button and holds your personal power, confidence, and boundaries.
The Heart Chakra is located at your heart center and governs our ability to have love and compassion for ourselves and others.
The Throat Chakra is located at your throat and is your center of communication and living your highest truth.
The Third Eye Chakra is located at your forehead and is your center of intuition and inner wisdom.
The Crown Chakra is located at the top of your head and is your energetic center or spirituality and your connection to all.
When I was pregnant, my crown chakra closed, I went inward to nourish and grow my baby. My crown chakra was closed. I dove deeper inside myself than I knew possible. My root chakra closed completely; I needed a safe place for my daughter to grow. So I instinctively closed my root chakra. I was beginning to create a nourishing circle of energy for her to thrive in. As all pregnant bodies do, my body physically closed itself to outside energy through my mucus plug. Nothing that wasn’t supposed to get to my baby was going to get in. I had a force-field of energy protecting her from myself and all my spirit guides. Spirit Guides are entities that remain as a disembodied spirit to guide or protect a living person. My body was filling will energy from myself and my growing baby, and that’s all. I was closed off to outside Influences, and my only job was to allow my baby to grow in the healthiest environment I could provide for her. I had a circle of energy moving back and forth from my body to my babies for nine months. No energy leaving. Energy constantly and consistently building and building until one night my water broke. A literal and metaphorical release of life and the purest energy you can imagine! Wow! What a rush! I won’t bore you with the birth details, but 44 hours later, my sweet Lucy came out of my body and was placed on my chest. If you have never experienced this- it is surreal and spiritual and the most intense and beautiful moment of my life! Bliss, tears, laughter, and so much love as I held her in my arms for the very first time. I’ll never forget that moment. The energy release of birth is strong, immense, and so fucking powerful! It’s not just the physical body that changes in pregnancy and on the journey to motherhood. The energetic body also takes on a new dimension. If I haven’t already convinced you that motherhood is a spiritual awakening, keep reading.
The day my daughter was born, so was I. My baby is, to this day, my greatest teacher.
As we began our new life together, all the lessons I thought I had learned were reintroduced and retaught. She has taught me many things and reminded me of some lessons I have already learned. I thought I was “good” at being in the present moment; I’ve built so many yoga classes and written countless meditations around that theme... wasn’t I an “expert” at this by now? Sure, I was aware of it, but my Lucy has shown me what it truly means to be present. My root chakra was finally balanced. I was grounded and connected to the Earth and the basic needs of life. When she needed to be fed, everything stopped. I stopped; no matter where I was or what I was doing, I breastfed my baby. We were both at that moment, and only at that moment, nothing else mattered. We were focused and present. When she was tired, once again, we both paused. It didn’t matter what I had planned to do, everything came to a halt, and I soothed my sweet girl until she drifted off. We were in that moment and only that moment. We breathed together. We paused. Nothing else matters but that moment in time. My root chakra was completed balanced. She will continue to teach me this as we stumble through life together; this is not a lesson that can be taught in one session. It is a skill that takes many years to “master.” Lucy and I have so much time to work on being present together.
After Lucy showed me how to be genuinely in the moment, she asked me energetically to teach her everything I know. I began to love myself more. After all, I had just grown a human in my body, birthed and fed her with milk from my breasts. How could I not love and honor my body more than ever? My heart chakra was now full of more love and compassion for myself and others than I ever knew possible. By showing her how to love and care for herself, I began to love and care for myself even more. My heart chakra was activated and balanced.
My third eye chakra was stimulated, and I have never trusted my intuition as much as I do now. No matter how many times I had taught others how to listen to their inner guide, I was hearing her for the first time. She was clear and told me everything that I needed to know. I don’t doubt myself anymore. If something doesn’t feel right, I don’t waste my energy on it. If something needs to change or I need to let something go- it’s gone. No regrets. I trust myself. I do what is best for myself and my family now, and I don’t feel bad about it. I am grateful for my intuition. My Third eye chakra is balanced and ready to go!
After her birth, My solar plexus shined more brightly than ever before. I truly stand in my power now. I am more confident than I ever thought I could be. I create solid boundaries in my work and my personal life. I no longer feel guilty for it. It makes me feel good! In my mind, I’m like, “Go, Becky! You did it again; doesn’t that feel good?!” And it feels so good! An extra added benefit to creating more solid boundaries and standing in my power has inspired others to do the same—my Solar Plexus chakra balance and glowing boldly.
As my solar plexus chakra continued to awaken, I also noticed my throat chakra opening. Pre-baby, I had difficulty communicating what I needed or wanted to say. After baby, I speak my truth with much more ease and grace. After all, I don’t have time for miscommunication; I have lots of wonderful things to do! It isn’t always easy to communicate what is needed to be said, but it is necessary for living the best life you can.
My crown chakra was a little slower to open in the sense that I didn’t want to let everyone in all at once. I tried to keep an energetic container around our family, and let’s face it, having a baby in a pandemic helped me do that too. As my crown chakra opened, I felt a calling to teach Lucy different aspects of spirituality. I wanted to teach Lucy reiki, and I did. I have never taught children before, so I let intuition guide me. I simply talked about reiki and showed her reiki. Since the day I was made aware of her existence, I had been giving her reiki. She has been practicing reiki since she was one! The first time she laid her hands on me with intention, my world opened up even more. I was in awe of her gentle, healing energy.
I searched for books on spirituality, meditation, reiki, and other wellness ways of life, and the messages I wanted for her weren’t out there. So I wrote my own. Talk about Sacral Chakra opening! I have always loved writing but have never done anything with my creations. I believe that when I birthed Lucy, my Sacral Chakra was cracked wide opened, and all that creative and passionate energy came spilling out with her body. That energy had been building for nine months, and now it had been set free! This has led me to write an entire series of books called Little Healers. What!? Am I a writer? It is almost like a living dream. She has awakened me to my true potential. I live a different way now; I see life in a new way, in a new light. Life is clear and bright now. Spiritual awakening? Yeah- I would say so! This is just the start. She has created this space for me to awaken even more, and you can bet on it- I am going to take her up on her offerings. We have an energy agreement beyond this life. We will move energy back and forth for the rest of our time together in this life and beyond. We have so much to learn from each other. Birthing my child and becoming a mother is my most significant accomplishment and my true spiritual awakening. I can’t wait to watch us come alive even more and bathe in the beauty of our energetic, psychic and spiritual gifts as our lives unfold together. I am inspired and awake and ready to learn, grow, and become what I am meant to be on this Earth.
Motherhood is a spiritual awakening.